Tobi's Trick or Treat
by Midnight's Shining Star
Summary: It's Halloween but Tobi doesn't have a costume! How is he supposed to get free candy? Includes Tobi, Pein, Itachi, Deidara and Kisame. Warning, attempts at humor! T for light swearing.


**A/N: Hmm...here's the Halloween special I was talking about! Wanted to get it in before the big "Frakenstorm" hits us and we lose power or something. Of course, now I'm not going to lose power. Watch. It's how the world works xP**

**Anywho, this story didn't quite turned out how I had originally wanted it, but I like it all the same. I hope you guys enjoy it as well! And sorry if the characters are a little OOC here. This was more for fun than anything else :3  
**

**I don't own the Akatsuki, sadly T_T  
**

* * *

_**Tobi's Trick or Treat**_

* * *

"It's Halloween! It's Halloween! It's-oof!" A certain masked ninja sang out as he ran around the Akatsuki base.

"Everyone, Tobi is OKAY!" Tobi said, picking himself up after crashing into a lamp. Said lamp, however, was not okay. "It's Halloween! It's Halloween!" Tobi continued on, singing out at the top of his lungs and dancing around the room.

_Crash!_

Tobi ran into a bookshelf, knocking the whole thing over in the process. "Tobi is still a-okay!" The masked ninja said, after again picking himself up.

"TOBI! WHAT is going on in here?"

"Oh, hello leader-sama!" Tobi said, waving "It's Halloween!" He exclaimed, and continued dancing around.

Pein put a hand to his head. "I've noticed" he muttered. Just then, Tobi gasped.

"Do you know what this means leader-sama?"

"No"

"It means Tobi gets free candy!" Tobi practically shouted and began jumping around in a circle.

"Oh perfect, just what we need" Pein muttered sarcastically.

"Oh, oh, but Tobi can't get candy unless he has a costume! Oh no! What is Tobi going to do? Tobi doesn't have a costume!" Tobi began running around the room in circles again and this time crashed into a wall, creating a Tobi shaped imprint.

"Tobi…" Pein started

"Hai, leader-sama? Tobi is a good boy! But he needs a costume and quick!"

"Right, that's…very nice. Why don't you go ask someone to help you find one? Someone like…" Pein began looking around "Itachi!" He said, as the Uchiha walked by.

Itachi turned his head slowly to face Pein but when he saw Tobi and the destroyed room he quickly turned and started walking in the other direction.

"Itachi! Come here. NOW" Pein commanded. Itachi came back into the room but only just stepped in.

"Hai?"

"Help Tobi"

Itachi turned to look at the masked ninja and blinked a couple of times.

"ITACHI-SAN!" Tobi said, bouncing up and down. "Do you know what day it is? Do you? Do you? Do you?"

Itachi just blinked.

"Well, go! Get out of here" Pein said to the two. "Go far, far away" he hissed silently to Itachi who only nodded.

"Come on Tobi"

"Okey doke! Tobi will follow Itachi-san!"

Pein sighed as he watched the two leave. Then, he turned his attention back to the destroyed room and sighed again. "Zetsu!" He called. The plant-man poked his head in.

"Clean up this mess"

* * *

"Itachi-san! Itachi-san! Guess what day it is! Guess! GUESS!"

"What?" Itachi asked

"Aw, no fair. You didn't guess. Tobi wanted you to guess because that's more fun! But Tobi will tell you anyways! It's Halloween!"

Itachi mentally rolled his eyes.

"And guess what that means Itachi-san! GUESS!"

"What?" Itachi asked again.

"Aw, you're no fun" Tobi pouted but instantly brightened up again as he said "It means Tobi gets free candy! But he needs a costume first. Leader-sama said Itachi-san would help Tobi find a costume! So Itachi-san will help Tobi, right?"

Itachi sighed.

"What? Are you not going to help Tobi? If you don't help Tobi find a costume then Tobi can't get candy! And if Tobi can't get candy then Tobi will be sad! You don't want Tobi to be sad, do you Itachi-san?"

"Hn"

"Come on Itachi-san! Tobi really, really, _really_, needs a costume! Where is Tobi supposed to find one?"

Itachi kept walking.

"Costume! Oh costume! Come out so Tobi can find you! Tobi needs you for Halloween!"

This was one of those times when Itachi wished he could strangle Tobi, or throw him out a window, or mentally scar him for life, or all three. But he kept his composure and only walked faster.

"_Itachi-san!" _Tobi whined "Tobi _really _needs a costume! Oh costume! Tobi needs you! Wait a minute, where are we going?"

Honestly, Itachi hadn't thought of that. Where _were_ they going? He had been so annoyed by Tobi that he had forgotten exactly what he had planned on doing with the masked ninja. He was about to make something up entirely when Tobi suddenly gasped and ran past a stunned Itachi.

"DEIDARA-SENPAI!" Tobi exclaimed, tackling the horrified blonde to the ground and then bouncing up and down. Itachi smirked. He knew what to do with Tobi.

"Tobi, GET THE HELL OFF ME, un!" Deidara shouted.

"Senpai! Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!" Tobi asked excitedly as Deidara pushed him off and stood up.

"What? You finally found out what kunai are really for, un?"

"Silly senpai, Tobi always knew that! They're for playing tag with people!"

Deidara gave Tobi a weird sort of look while Itachi _almost_ smirked.

"It's Halloween! And Tobi gets free candy!"

"Great" Deidara said, rolling his eyes.

"Tobi knows! It is great! So Itachi-san is-"

"Leader-sama needs you to find a costume for Tobi" Itachi said quickly before hurrying off down the hall.

Tobi looked at Itachi walking away for a moment before turning back to Deidara. "Where's Itachi-san going? Oh well, senpai will help Tobi find a costume right? Because if Tobi doesn't get one then Tobi can't get any candy and that will make Tobi sad! So you'll help Tobi find a costume, right senpai?"

Deidara glared at Itachi's back. Damn Uchiha! Leaving him here with this idiot! Oh, he would pay, he would pay, he would pay dearly, Deidara would make sure- "_Senpai_!" Tobi whined.

Right. Tobi was still there. _Idiot._

"_What_ Tobi, un?"

"Tobi _needs_ a costume!"

Deidara muttered something under his breath.

"What was that senpai?"

"Ugh, um, ok. What kind of costume do you want then, un?"

Tobi clapped his hands together. "Yay! Senpai's gonna help Tobi!"

"Right, right, now shut up and tell me what you want before I change my mind, un!"

"Oh, ok senpai!"

"Well?"

"Tobi doesn't know actually" Tobi said, shrugging his shoulders.

_Just, great…_

"Think about it really hard, un"

"Oh, ok, Tobi's thinking"

"Think of anything yet?"

"No, Tobi's still thinking"

_Ugh…this will take forever…_

"When did you need this costume again, un?"

"Oh, in a few hours! Tobi needs it in time to go trick-or-treating so he can get free candy!"

_Right…_

"Well, hurry up, un"

"Tobi is trying"

Deidara sighed. Maybe he could get rid of Tobi and none of them would have to worry about Halloween. Yeah, he'd just blow the orange masked idiot up, that would work. But no, knowing Tobi he'd miraculously come back somehow. He just couldn't seem to die. Maybe it was an idiot's luck. Also, Pein might get mad at him for killing his partner. That might be bad. Might.

Deidara cast a sideward glance at Tobi who had his hand pressed to his forehead, thinking or whatever, about his costume.

"Why does the idiot even need a costume? Why can't he use a henge jutsu or something? Hm, he probably doesn't know any. But, he's like already wearing one anyways. With that mask it's not like anyone's going to be able to tell it's him…un…" Deidara muttered angrily to himself.

"What did you say, senpai?" Tobi asked.

"Uh, Tobi, don't you ever think that you mask is like a costume?" _Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll fall for this one. _"Why not just go like this, un?"

"Silly senpai, Tobi can't"

_Damnit!_

"Why not, un?"

"Because! That takes all the fun out of it! You're supposed to be able to dress up as whatever you want and then get free candy!"

"So, what do you want to be then, un?"

"Tobi's still thinking"

"Think faster damnit!"

"Tobi will try"

"TRY HARDER!"

"Tobi will try harder"

"Ugh, cut that out, un!"

"Cut what senpai?"

"Not literally you baka! Just, ugh!" Deidara stormed off down the hall.

"Senpai! Tobi still doesn't have a costume! Tobi can't get candy if-"

"If he doesn't have a damn costume! I know! Geez! Go bug the shit outta somebody else; I'm done, un"

"But senpai!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY, un!"

"But Tobi _needs _a costume!"

"_Tobi…_" Deidara said, turning around and pulling out a clay bomb. "I'm going to count to three and if you're not gone I'm going to blast you to hell and back, un!"

"Aw, come on senpai!"

"One"

"Tobi just needs a costume!"

"Two"

"Ack! DON'T BLOW TOBI UP!"

"Three"

"AHHHH! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi said, dashing off before Deidara could use his bomb.

_Finally. He's gone._

* * *

Tobi ran through the base waving his arms wildly in the air and shouting "Tobi is a good boy!" at the top of his lungs. He only stopped when he ran into someone.

"Ah! Kisame-san! Help Tobi!"

Kisame looked down at the masked ninja who had fallen on the floor. "What's up?" He asked as he helped Tobi up.

"Deidara-senpai is mean and he's going to blow Tobi up! What did Tobi ever do wrong?" He asked sadly.

"Ohhh, is that what this is about then?" _Alright, what did Tobi do this time?_

"No, it's actually about Tobi's costume. But leader-sama said to ask Itachi-san so Tobi asked Itachi-san but then Itachi-san disappeared and then he left Tobi with Deidara-senpai but Deidara-senpai was being mean to Tobi!" Tobi explained, animating the whole ordeal with his hands.

"Ah…I…see…so what's this about a costume?"

Tobi brightened up "Oh, it's Halloween and Tobi needs a costume or else he can't get free candy!"

"Ok, well, what do you want to be?"

"That's what Deidara-senpai asked Tobi but Tobi couldn't figure it out. Tobi was trying to think but then senpai was going to blow Tobi up! So Tobi had to run." Tobi said, nodding his head.

"Um, alright, well, maybe you can have an _imaginary_ costume" Kisame suggested

"Ooh, what's that?" Tobi asked, obviously intrigued by the idea.

"Uh, well, just think of any costume you want and you'll automatically be wearing it! And you can change it as many times as you want"

"Oh, Tobi sees! Tobi thinks he will use the imaginary costume!"

"Ah, good"

"Tobi thinks he will be a pirate now; does Tobi look like a pirate?"

"Uh, yeah. Very much like one"

"Yippee! It works! Tobi is so happy! Now Tobi needs to get someone to take him to get free candy!"

Kisame, who had been quite pleased with himself for resolving the issue and had been sort of half smiling at Tobi, suddenly frowned.

"Uh, sorry Tobi! I forgot I have to…do something! See ya!"

"Oh, ok, bye Kisame-san!" Tobi shouted as Kisame dashed away.

"Now…who can Tobi get to take him trick-or-treating?" He wondered aloud.

Just then, he saw Pein walking down the hall.

"Leader-sama! Tobi has a costume now! It is an imaginary costume. Tobi is being a pirate right now. Does Tobi look like a pirate?"

"Um, yes, very good Tobi" Pein answered, and began to walk away.

"WAIT! Now Tobi is being a ghost! Does Tobi look like a ghost?"

"You do. I'm glad you have a costume now Tobi." Pein said, and tried to get away again.

"WAIT! Tobi needs someone to take him trick-or-treating now!"

Pein groaned inwardly. "Where did Itachi go?"

"Oh, he disappeared. He left Tobi with Deidara-senpai who was going to blow Tobi up so Tobi had to run away! But then Tobi found Kisame-san and Kisame-san said Tobi could use an _imaginary_ costume! So that is what Tobi is doing!"

"I see…Where did Kisame go?"

"He disappeared too. Tobi doesn't know why. Everyone seems to be doing it lately. Maybe Tobi should try."

Pein rolled his eyes. "Fine. Then where's Deidara?"

"Oh, he's down there" Tobi said pointing in a general direction "But senpai's scary! Tobi doesn't want to get blown up!"

"Do you want free candy?"

"Oh yes, Tobi very much wants free candy!"

"Good. Come on" Pein said, walking off with Tobi close behind.

Soon, the two found Deidara who had found Itachi and was glaring daggers at the Uchiha.

"Deidara" Pein said

Shooting one last nasty glance at Itachi Deidara turned towards Pein "Hai, leader-sama?"

"Take Tobi trick-or-treating"

Deidara's eyes widened. "What? Why me? Make Itachi do it! I've got things to do, un!"

"DEIDARA!"

"Fine, un"

"Good. And Deidara?"

"What?"

"Don't blow Tobi or anything else up while you're out there, okay?"

"But _leader-sama_!"

"_Deidara!_"

"Alright, alright. Fine, un" Deidara said, shooting Itachi another evil glare as the Uchiha snickered at the blonde. "Come on Tobi" he muttered.

"Yay! Senpai's going to take Tobi trick-or-treating! TOBI IS SO EXCITED!" Tobi exclaimed, seemingly forgetting the earlier incident.

* * *

Tobi skipped through the street with a huge sack of candy in his hand and a less than pleased Deidara dragging along behind. So far, Tobi had hit over fifty houses and probably had gotten more than enough candy to last a lifetime. Or, at least, as far as Deidara was concerned. Tobi had also managed to knock over six pumpkins, ten weird yard decorations, a giant spider, and thirteen little kids in his quest to get candy. And everyone just gave it to him without a second thought. Maybe they were too scared to think of what Tobi might do should he not get candy. Deidara wasn't sure.

"Oi, Tobi, don't you think this is enough for one night? You can't possibly eat all that, un!"

"Oh, but Tobi's not going to eat it all! Tobi is going to save some too! And plus, Tobi needs to get enough candy for senpai!" Tobi said happily.

"Uh, thanks Tobi, but I don't really need any candy, un"

"Aw, come on senpai! Candy is tasty! Tobi will let you pick what you get!"

"Ugh…Tobi…I think there's plenty for the both of us in there, un"

"Nu-uh senpai! Tobi's not done! He has to do this _whole_ street too! Then Tobi promises we can go!"

Deidara looked down the street. It was long, very long. Or, at least long enough; especially when all Deidara wanted to do was leave the damn place so he could get back to planning the many ways to kill Itachi.

"Well, hurry it up then! I'm waiting here, un" Deidara said as he sat down on the side of the street.

"Aw, come on senpai! Don't you want to help Tobi get candy?"

"No"

"Aww…wait, is it because you don't have a costume senpai? Oh, Tobi knows! Senpai can have an imaginary costume too! Yes! Everyone loves Tobi's! So senpai should have one too!" Tobi shouted, clapping his hands together.

"Ugh, no Tobi, I do _not _want an imaginary costume. I'm quite fine right here. Go hurry up and get your candy before I decide to leave you here, un"

"Aw, alright, but you don't know what kind of fun you're missing!" Tobi said as he dashed off down the street.

"Fun indeed…making a fool of yourself is more like it, un" Deidara muttered.

Deidara pulled out a ball of clay and began rolling it around on his palms as he stared out at some kids across the way gathering their candy. He began to imagine what the looks on their faces would be like if the house _just happened_ to explode or something. Or maybe the candy. He smirked. That would be priceless. He got up and was thinking about going to do something like that when he remembered what Pein told him.

So instead, he sat back down and pouted, still rolling the clay around in his hands. _Stupid Pein, taking all the fun out of things! But…he doesn't have to know…_

Deidara glanced down after where Tobi had gone to get candy and saw him far down the street.

_Just, something small. Oh man, this is gonna be fun!_

Deidara got up again and decided he would place small bomb in the candy bowl, then detonate it right before a kid reached in to take candy. Already smirking at the reaction he knew he would get, he formed a couple of small spider bombs and walked it towards the candy bowl, from a distance, and finally got it in. _This will be good!_ He thought, and was about to detonate them, when Tobi came.

"Senpai!" Tobi shouted jumping on Deidara from behind, knocking them both to the ground along with all of Tobi's candy. "Oh no, Tobi's candy!"

"GET OFF ME YOU IDIOT!" Deidara shouted angrily, upset at both Tobi and the fact that he hadn't actually been able to detonate his bombs.

Tobi got off Deidara and began picking up his candy. Deidara watched as Tobi quickly finished and then stood and began dusting himself off.

"What were you doing senpai?"

"Nothing, un"

"Oh, nothing sure looked like fun!"

"Shut the hell up, un"

"Tobi got all his candy!" Tobi exclaimed joyfully, ignoring Deidara's last remark.

"Good" Deidara said, still looking out at the kids taking candy out of the bowl. Just then, he noticed a kid taking the spider bombs out of the bowl, exclaiming happily at the prize. _Shit! I need to get those back! Otherwise, Pein could find out…_

"Senpai? What are you looking at?" Tobi asked.

"Nothing, stay here and wait for me, un"

"Okey doke senpai!" Tobi said with a little salute as he sat down to count his candy or something of the like.

Deidara just rolled his eyes and walked off towards the kid who was showing the spiders to his jealous friends. He had thought of just detonating the bombs, but that would cause a scene. And plus, Pein would probably find out. Sighing, he walked up to the kid.

"Hey, you, give me those spiders, _now_, un" he said in what he thought was a menacing voice. Some of the boy's friends seemed a little intimidated but the kid himself just turned around and looked at Deidara.

_Ok, come on Deidara, you can do this, they're just kids._

"Did you hear me, I said I want those spiders now, un"

The kid narrowed his eyes. "They're mine! Go get your own!"

Deidara sighed. His "big and scary" act obviously wasn't working. Now if he were Itachi, maybe. Itachi just had that aura. Figures.

Bending down a bit so he was at the kid's level he said, "Look, I really need those bom- er, spiders. They're kind of important. So if you could give them to me that would be great, un"

"You just want them for yourself. I said go get your own! These are mine!"

By now Deidara was getting annoyed. He didn't really have the patience for this and he wanted to go home. "Hey, they were mine first so hand them over!"

"That's a lie! I got them from that house over there! Go check and see if they have more if you want them so badly but these are mine!"

"Ugh, look kid, I'll trade you something for them. What do you want, un?"

"I don't want anything! I want the spiders"

"Seriously, anything. Just hand over the spiders and I'll give you whatever you want, un"

The kid raised an eyebrow. "What do you have?"

"Hey, you! What are you doing?" Some adult yelled at Deidara.

_Crap! Um…_

Quickly, he just pushed the kid over and snatched the bombs out of his hands. Then he started running towards Tobi. "HEY! Get back here!"

_Honestly, I should have done that in the first place. _

"Come on Tobi, let's go, un!" He called out to his partner.

"Okey doke senpai!" Tobi said, running behind Deidara. "Why are we running?"

"Because…because I say so! Now get a move on, un!"

Later, Tobi and Deidara sat in the kitchen of the Akatsuki hideout while Tobi counted out all of his candy. He had insisted that Deidara stay to help him count the candy or else he threatened to tell Pein about the incident with the kid. _Not like Tobi knew what was going on…but still, I'd rather not have Pein on my back. _

So now, Deidara sat down leaning forward with his head resting on his arms as he watched Tobi count every single piece and sort it according to…well, who knew what.

"Are you done yet Tobi, un?"

"Nope! Tobi still has this whole pile left!" Tobi said, pointing to a stack of candy in the middle of the table.

"Ugh" Deidara buried his head in his arms. After about a few minutes, he felt someone poking him in the shoulder.

"_What_ Tobi?" He asked, lifting his head ever so slightly.

"Is senpai alright?" Tobi asked

"I'm _fine_, un" Deidara spat.

"Senpai looks tired" Tobi stated matter of factly.

Deidara rolled his eyes and put his head back down. _Tired of you, idiot!_

"Whadya' think? Everyone else is sleeping and we're up counting candy, un" Deidara mumbled, half to himself and half to Tobi.

"Tobi thinks maybe he should count the rest of his candy _tomorrow_"

_Yes, please!_

"But Tobi needs to eat some first!"

_Gah! NO!_

"Senpai, do you want some candy too?"

_No, I do not want candy. I do not want anything to do with candy. If I never see candy again it will be too soon. _

"Senpai? Can you hear Tobi?"

_No I don't hear Tobi. Just go away! Go…hmm…this table isn't so bad…_

"Senpai?" Tobi said, poking Deidara in the shoulder again.

"What, un?" Deidara asked, now half asleep and not even bothering to lift his head.

"Senpai, Tobi thinks, Tobi thinks, Tobi thinks…" Tobi went on to say something else that Deidara just tuned out. _He can go on counting his damn candy and I'll just take a little nap here. After a while he'll just go back to counting his candy. Idiot that he is. _

"Senpai? Are you listening? Senpai?" Tobi poked Deidara in the shoulder again but this time didn't get a response from the blonde.

"Senpai? Senpai!" Tobi said, poking Deidara again and still not getting a response.

"Oh no! Tobi killed senpai! What is Tobi going to do!" Tobi exclaimed.

Just then, Pein came into the room. "Tobi, what is all this racket? Go to bed already."

"But leader-sama! Tobi killed Deidara-senpai! He's not talking to Tobi anymore! Ohh, Tobi is really, really sorry! What is Tobi going to do?"

Pein looked curiously at Tobi for a moment before his eyes fell on Deidara who must have fallen asleep at the table while doing something with Tobi. Pein rolled his eyes.

"He's not dead Tobi, just sleeping"

"Oh, really? Well that's a relief, Tobi thought he was dead! Silly senpai, he can't sleep on the table, can he leader-sama?"

Pein rolled his eyes again, getting increasingly annoyed with the masked ninja. It was too late for this. "No Tobi, he can't. Wake him up and go to bed, both of you."

"Yessir leader-sama! Senpai! Leader-sama says you can't sleep on the table so Tobi has to wake you up now! Wake up senpai!" Tobi said, poking Deidara yet again who this time fell to the floor.

"Tobi, what the hell are you thinking, un!" Deidara half shouted half mumbled. He was still half asleep. Picking himself up, he saw Pein and immediately straightened up as best he could. Which really wasn't much at all.

"Leader-sama says you can't sleep on the table senpai!" Tobi informed his partner.

"Shut up Tobi" Deidara muttered as he blushed a bit, embarrassed. Pein only rolled his eyes again.

"Just go to bed" he said tiredly and watched as a hyper Tobi dragged a somewhat disoriented Deidara down the hall.

_Finally, we can have some peace!_ He thought, once he heard Tobi reach his room.

"Oh and by the way leader-sama" Tobi shouted back "Christmas comes next so Tobi will start getting ready tomorrow! Good night!"

Pein groaned.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Hope you liked! This is only a oneshot so I won't be continuing but I hope you all enjoyed it just the same :3**

**I enjoy torturing Deidara to no end...yes I do...be it physically, mentally, or with Tobi, of whom I'm not sure falls into which category xP  
**

**Please R&R!  
**


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